Resilience & Grace: Embracing The Complexity of Being Human
Exploring the yin yang polarity of the human experience; knowing when to hide/retreat, take action/be still — and to trust the wisdom that we need it all
_______
Resilience and grace can honestly feel as fleeting andfragile as autumn leaves before letting go of tree branches and falling to theground. And yet, we trust that bare limbs will yet again sprout growth.Emotions, like seasons are transitory too.
We want what we want when we want it, right? Who can blameus. But have you noticed that life often unfolds according to a differenttimeclock? So, we react. We push, we pull, we stomp our inner child feet, wecreate suffering and then beg for a sign (one that tells us what we want to hear,of course!).
The messages surround me (and YOU) all the time. Lookthis way, they beckon and try to reassure me. You are loved. You aresupported. Trust. All is well.
But when you’re running on fumes of faith, it doesn’t necessarily feel ‘well’…and we don’t necessarily trust it, so we carry on business-as-suffering-usual.
You know what I mean…just as you are feeling all ZEN and grateful, boom, the phone rings, a disappointing email arrives, something shifts. Immediate buzz kill.
And we fall back into life set on ‘default’ mode oh soeasily — doing things our way, the way we always have. Does anyone smell apattern?
Even when we get messages of support from God, the Universeor even the people in our lives, we often still can’t let go of our unnecessarysuffering. It’s hard to let go of patterns and behaviors. We all have ourvulnerabilities. You aren’t alone in this department, contrary to what it mayfeel like when you are in it. Maybe it shows up in your relationships, yourcareer or with your finances. I hear you. I’m constantly working on diggingdeeper and shining the light brighter on what I need to see about myself and mytricky tactics.
But that certainly doesn’t make it easy. Just as one roomgets cleaned, there’s another messy one right down the hall waiting for me. Aaaah,life.
Don’t beat yourself up. No, instead, honor it. Honor thatyou see it. Honor where you’ve been and how far you’ve traveled to here. Remindyourself of that strength, not the weakness or the perceived mistakes.If you can see it, it is time to be revealed. You are ready. You are ready tomake the connections, cut the chords and to move on. You are ready to heal…andhow awesome is that?!
Healing, especially emotional healing, takes time. It takesguts and it takes resilience. It also takes grace. Think of a peaceful warrior.Can you be that for yourself?
I recently attended a workshop with a small gathering offriends and a few others I didn’t know. It was a perfect example of getting outof my own way and connecting to community, allowing myself to participate and asa result, receiving. Admittedly, my typical knee-jerk reaction when asked toattend something is: No. But I showed up and of course it was moving andtransformational; such a reminder that when like-minded people gather and setan intention, something unexpected and profound always emerges. It is felt andit is healing.
During that gathering while I was meditating, I had a thought about the push/pull nature of life; resilience and grace — and how we need both, the polarity of our experience.
There are seasons to show up and do the work and there are those to step back and nurture, to sit in faith (and hold it tight).
We need it all. I don’t believe this is about forcing things or muscling through anything, but it is about following grace and allowing her to whisper into your ear, experience and life. It’s about hearing what needs to be heard from deep within, from the stillness — then trusting grace to guide your next action steps.
Resilience reminds you of your strength, grace speaks from the soul.
Embrace them both and know that each resides within you too. None of us is immune to pain and discontent, but we can choose how we are or are not going to participate in the suffering. Are we going to feed it or be with it?
Resilience is not resistance. It is a courageous act ofknowing and trusting, continuously showing up the best way we can. It is abouttrust and faith, particularly when we are standing on wobbly legs. It’s abouttruth — seeing it, embracing it, embodying it and letting go of the rest.
Motherhood has been a tremendous mirror for me. When Iwitness my son experiencing any type of hurt or upset, I want to charge in likea triage team. But I know that the best thing I can do for him is to mustergrace — and to share some wisdom from this long and winding road I’ve been on,to encourage him to be with his discomfort and to ultimately remind him of hisown power to navigate it all. I can’t fix it or him. I can’t make his pain goaway. I can’t patch up his disappointment. However, we can only shine a lighton what is possible if we choose to tap into our own resilience and grace. Andwhen we do, oh, what a beautifully choreographed life waltz it can be.
Healing ourselves is our life’s true work. Witnessing our reflection within one another is our wisdom. Embracing our power and the courage to show up for it all is a slice of divinity along this human experience.
Resilient grace. Graceful resiliency. Bring it on…in all ofits complexity and beauty — and in whatever capacity we can handle it.Sometimes we can merely meet life from where we’re at — and when we can show uptrusting in our resilience and grace, it is there that we truly find our BestSelves. Trust in the seasons of your life, your journey and your evolution.
How does this dance between resilience and grace show up foryou? Do you feel its emotional tug-o-war or have you figured out how to embraceit all? Please share with us in the comments below — our shared experiencebonds us in this being human journey.