Who’s driving your bus?
Who’s driving your bus…and just how old is she? Dr. Carol Robin asked me during an energy-work session I had with her.Behind some corner is a part of you peeking out from the past; still lurking around with a bit of unfinished business. For me, it is a young girl crouched down at the top of the stairwell eavesdropping the words of her parents that were not intended for her. What do you mean there isn’t enough money? Those words frightened and made her feel unsafe, in the ways that only a child can perceive. No one ever spoke to her about any of it – so she assigned her own meaning to it based upon how they made her feel. It may not have been steeped in reality at all, but it was her translation and how it landed for her.These were the ideas that came together and started to inform who she was so she tucked them away and carried them throughout the rest of her relationships and life (gone but not forgotten). The problem was that these theories weren’t serving her well…they were fear-based. They were her shameful secrets - well guarded and resilient like toxic landfill. Skip ahead later in life, still there, they remained hidden away…but not really. All dirty little secrets rise to the surface eventually – their underbelly revealed. Sweep them under the rug and pretend they don’t exist – out of sight – out of mind…but eventually you will trip over them.Like it or not, the “badly” behaved adult in you is only manifesting the deep-seeded misconceptions of the child who first created them, the one who feels it is her job to ferociously guard them. And like a wonderful line I love states, “that which we resist, persists.”Get over it already, I like to tell my inner child while rolling my eyes in exasperation. The next time you feel one of your trigger emotions emerge; fear, anger, jealously or frustration, ask yourself…what is really going on here? And if you are honest with yourself, really honest, the answers are always simple…so simple that we tend to dismiss them as insignificant. Like it or not, it requires some clean up and there’s no way around it. If you are willing to reach back, dig deep and excavate some intricate roots you can release yourself from the old thought patterns that bind you.It was time. She had done her best in an attempt to protect me – but let’s face it, she was too young to be driving the bus. It was time for her to scooch aside and let me take over. I’ve got this one covered, now go play.