December Musings: What’s Your Word?
Does picking a word for the new year sound corny? I thought so too, but this year 1 word smacked me in the face
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On your mark, get set, go. Apparently, the race is on...do you have your word for 2023 yet? OMG, just add one more thing to my to-do list! Now, as a lover of prose and all things in the name of affirmations, self-empowerment, happy thoughts and anything that puts us on the path to being our Best Selves (or anywhere in the vicinity)...you’d think I’d jump on this word-choosing exercise with a vengeance. But not.
It’s not that I don’t see the merit of it — to the contrary, I think it’s extremely powerful to declare a word for the new year — something fully representative of what you’d like to leave behind and something that you’d like to lean more into. But truth be told, that’s always overwhelmed me. One word? Come on, give me a paragraph. I’ve got some stuff to work out here. Ha!
That said, I’m happy to report that this year feels different and my ‘word’ landed on me like an undeniable truth. There was no waffling, no over-thinking or second-guessing. She was in the house, making herself known and taking up residency. You know what it is? FREEDOM. Glorious freedom. I’ve claimed her fully and have allowed her to dance within my imagination like sugar plumb fairies (I’m happy to share her if she resonates with you too).
Think of it as freedom from all that holds you back from doing what you want to do, showing up in the world as a version of yourself you can feel proud of — financial freedom, emotional freedom, spiritual freedom. What do you need to free yourself from?
Allow me to roll it back. Let’s talk December for a moment. Such an incredible time of year, the threshold of endings and beginnings, letting go and leaning in, giving and receiving, ups and downs and all arounds. It’s easy to get distracted by the sparkle of the season — the fanfare, the shiny packages tied up with glittery bows, the festivities, the invitations, the memories of holidays past...and the stress of juggling it all and the feelings that get stirred in the process. Phew.
I’ll admit that I’m a lover of Christmas, but I’m also well aware of the fact that much of what I’m attached to has tentacles that lead back to childhood; the anticipation, the cookies, the magic of Santa, the twinkly lights and of course...the glorious Christmas tree laden with the ornaments that hold the stories of our lives. All of it.
It is also a time of transformation. Christmas covers up the discomfort we don’t want to see...or does it? There’s nothing like the smell of fresh pine in the house and a string of sparkly lights to lift one’s spirits — an undeniable beauty and wonder to be found. But it is also a mixed bag of emotions for many — a sadness and deep longing for the past, for people no longer here and perhaps a version of yourself that no longer exists. Maybe you find yourself somewhere you don’t want to be.
It can be a set-up of sorts and weighed down with unrealistic expectations. In all the rushing around and checking off items on our already-too-encumbered lists, we get lost in the frenzy. We forget what the true source of our joy is and far too often, we just fall in line. Until we feel depleted from over-doing, over-spending, under-nurturing ourselves.
I’m excellent at over-committing, over-achieving and over-extending...then getting really cranky about it.
Actually, I’ll take that back a bit. I’ve gotten much better about this in recent years and I share this with you because so can you. As they say, we can’t pour from an empty pitcher.
I also had a friend laughing during a recent conversation when I told her that my new first response to everything is, “No.” She responded as if this was revolutionary...because it kind of is. No, I can’t do everything. No, I can’t be everything. No, I can’t give you everything you want. Giving yourself permission to say No, is kind of radical when you think about it.
At first it feels a bit uncomfortable, like a muscle you have never worked out in the gym before (because it probably is). However, the truth is that when you protect YOU, when you guard your emotions, self-care and overall wellbeing body, mind and spirit...you fill that pitcher back up. You make conscious, grounded, intuitive choices. You have more to give, and you have less to clean-up and regret later.
Doesn’t that sound refreshingly spacious and expansive? Sigh.
Without sounding too corny, I’ve consciously tried to bring more meaning to my holidays — less ‘stuff’, more connection to people, feelings, delight (ok, and toss in a few sugary treats). It also means letting go of this notion of perfection and rigidity, getting EVERYTHING done, and here’s the biggie...letting go of expectations of others to be the source of my happiness. Read that again.
I love this quote from Mel Robbins, “Stop being mad at people for not being who YOU want them to be.” Boom.
Think about that for a second. How much of your energy is spent trying to convince someone else to change into what you think they should be (especially those closest to us). Consciously or unconsciously, we do it all the time with relationships. We can’t change anyone other than the person staring back at us in the mirror. Catch yourself, you might be surprised how much you actually do this. Free yourself from something that is not yours to control.
Freedom.
On a personal note, I’m allowing myself to become exactly who I want to be without self-judgment and concerning myself with the judgement of others. I mean let’s face it, if not now...when will I do all that I desire? It’s easy to say, oh, it’s too late to start that, you look too old, you are too old blah, blah, blah. What is that for you?
You know what I say to that? Self-doubting self, judgmental self, suppressed self...meet my word for 2023 and clear the way! Freedom is here. I can feel the fist-pumping excitement going on in the background. Yes! We are freed!!!
If the exercise of choosing a word for the year you are about to step into doesn’t resonate with you, just find a way to bring awareness to how you can create some momentum in your life in the direction that will make you feel better, more fulfilled, appreciative, joyous. I’m stepping out of being so self-critical to the point of immobilization. If I lean into this, I can also shine a light on a path for others to do the same.
How about you just go for it...word or not. Be thankful for the experiences of 2022 (even the painful ones that stretched you to capacity), bid them adieu, thank them for their service and pack your bags for 2023. What are you taking with you?
Blessings Best Selfers, you beautiful souls. Thank you for the inspiration, the co-creation, the grounded and heart-centered love, compassion and creativity you put into the world. Take care of yourselves as you navigate the holidays, try saying “no” and inserting some freedom of your own. MWAH!
P.S. Before I could even get this blog posted, look at the divine gift that miraculously arrived at my doorstep from a beautiful soul sister. Now that’s some poetry in motion!
Learn more about Giving Keys and their inspiring social mission HERE.
I’d love to hear if you have any hacks for navigating the holidays and embracing a new year before us. Do you have a word? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.