The Reluctant Riser
Photograph by Jungwoo Hong
Seeing our life stumbles as sage guides and opportunities allows us to tap into the mojo of the Phoenix Rising within each of us
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Who knew I had it in me? I certainly didn’t…until I did.
I want to be a phoenix rising from the ashes when I grow up…says noone (well, at least no one I know). In ancient Greek folklore, the phoenixpicked itself up and rejuvenated, no matter what it had been through — in otherwords, the Energizer Bunny of resilience. And while we’re at it, I don’twant anything about me to stick out like a sore thumb…no dramatic falls orplotlines.No thanks, I prefer a gentler path please. I choose doornumber 2 instead.
Ha, smirks the Universe.
I guess you could say, in ways, the phoenix blood pumps througheach of us. Her energy is there waiting to be tapped, our very own life forceto be summoned.
But instead, as children most of us simply wanted to ‘fit in’, toblend in and go with the flow of the status quo. It’s where much of thehomogenization of who we were as individuals began, right there on theplayground. It’s also where our power began to drain.
I certainly didn’t like being a foot taller than everyone, wearingCoke bottle glasses, having a Lithuanian surname as long as me that no one couldpronounce — and getting braces on my teeth when I was in 2nd grade,long before anyone else. No, I didn’t appreciate any of this…not one bit. Infact, I didn’t appreciate anything that drew attention to me.
This was the place where I began to dull myself down in attempt tofit in...as if I could really change any of the above (but that didn’t stop mefrom trying). Can you relate? Is there a place where this has happened foryou…where you just wanted to shrink, to fade into the background and become someimplausible version of yourself? Maybe it was at home, at work…even in arelationship?
I really didn’t connect it all until recently. It’s not about blaming anyone. It’s actually about releasing oneself from the clutches of resentments and judgment — reclaiming power and being willing to see it all differently. For me it was the culmination of decades of personal work and healing. It led me back to a young girl who didn’t know her strength and couldn’t really see her beauty, both inner and outer.
It’s led me to understand how she left the comfort of her suburban childhood and went out into the world — and why certain things had to unfold as they did in order for her to shift...to wake up.
Mom was right. All that uniqueness led me to a successful modelingcareer when I was only 16, but it would take me all the decades of my lifethereafter to unravel the how’s and why’s, the life choices and even the lifepartners that followed. They all played a role, all a part of the production ofher life that would lead to the crescendo — the fall.
Let’s talk about ‘the fall’ for a moment. If I had ever had ahypothetical conversation with God and was warned about that one…I woulddefinitely have scrambled and pled for another path. Or would I have? The fallwoke me up, as they tend to do. Hindsight.
Remember, it’s not what happens to us, it’s what we do with it.Each day. Each encounter, no matter the size. Don’t roll over on the discomfortof your life and brush it off like it was ‘just a bad day’. Unattended woundsgrow ferocious roots that will spread throughout the fabric of your life.
What’s calling you to rise?
Where are you ignoring the whispers from within?
They don’t call it a gut instinct without reason. It’s asuperpower, however, it needs to be activated. And when we deny the discomfort,it only increases like a snowball rolling downhill in an avalanche. Thatavalanche is your life. I’m not saying that all discomfort or all bumps in theroad can be avoided. No, that’s not the point. But remember, you have the powerto rise up from them, heed their wisdom and experience them in a new way. You alsohave the power to control the level of suffering you endure. Yep.
Feel into what is unfolding in your life…in your relationships; your relationship to self, your career, your finances, your health. What is trying to reveal itself?
It’s easy to get stuck in the emotions of it all. That’s where the fear, limited-thinking, self-chastising, feeling-sorry-for-ourselves voices come in. The ones that tell us; Oh well, too bad. It’s too late. This is all there is for you.
Is there a place in your life where you feel uneasy, maybejealous…as if you are watching from the sidelines? Look there and ask, Whatdo I need to see? What do I need to shift? Where do you want me to go? Pleasehelp me see — and remind me of my uniqueness and strengths to navigate this all.
It starts there, viewing it through a new lens and with thecourage to ask for help. Remember, that phoenix blood pumps through your veinstoo. I didn’t listen to Mom all those years ago, probably in the same way thatmuch of my wisdom imparted upon my teenage son likely falls upon deaf ears. Noone can do this work for us. We get there when we can.
I may have been a reluctant riser…and I’d like to believe I willnow see the signs before experiencing another massive fall — but I can also tellyou, I do believe in my power to dust those ashes off and rise when and if Ineed to.
So, I want to leave you with this reminder to your self….
Self: You are more powerful than you know, don’t resist it — rise.Heed the inner stirrings before the fall. Go forth and be your Best Self, becauseyour life is waiting and it is meant to be glorious. Yes, I’m talking to you!
All rise! It is time to tap into your inner phoenix.
Was there a time in your life where you resisted your superpowers, your ability to rebound and rise? Please share it with us in the comments below, where so much good stuff happens. Let us know how you activated that inner phoenix.