The Road Less Traveled: Letting Go of Fear

Not being scared to live

Not today, not on this road — not this day. These were the words I uttered to the newly permitted resident teen, who asked if he could drive home the other afternoon when I went to pick him up from school. Not today. You see, this week our community suffered the unimaginable, every parent’s worst nightmare — the loss of a young life, a 16-year-old, to a tragic car accident. And an ensuing wave of grief spread across the valley we live within, engulfing us all in its clutches, even those who didn’t know him. One person’s child is everyone’s child.Broken-hearted and deeply deflated, we tried to move through the daily tasks of our lives in the days after. But nothing felt the same, nothing would ever be the same, and there was no way I could ease the pain my son was experiencing over the senseless loss of a friend far too early in life. No, this was not a wound I could slap a Band Aid upon. There was no salve or pain reliever – so instead, we all held hands and tried to walk through it, ensemble.No, not today, not on this road where your friend lost his life — can I bear to have you behind the wheel. You are my boy, you may be growing into a young man, but you are my boy. I knew he didn’t really understand, and there was probably a bit of eye-rolling in the background. But in that moment, I felt like I could control that which I know I don’t really have any control over. I desperately wanted to keep him safe.At a candlelight vigil, our community gathered to celebrate the life of this young man. It was through the stories recounted by one young person after another, choking back tears, that the picture of a beautiful life was conveyed. It made my heart hurt more. A deep sense of grief arose for all of the obvious reasons and then for those not so obvious — a string of missed opportunities, moments and experiences. The most profound sentiment came from a young man standing behind the podium who said, He wasn’t scared to live. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Out of the mouth of babes.If only we could all live our lives unafraid.Just this week, a friend and I were remarking about the speed at which life is rolling along. Both she and I have big goals, plans and dreams — so much to do, so little time. If we acknowledged the impermanence of our time here — would we really waste so much of it being fearful, holding onto resentment and anger, playing small, worrying about what other people were doing and suppressing our passions?I think not.We’ve all experienced moments that have stopped us in our tracks where we vow to do things differently going forward — only to be back to business as usual within a short time. The point is not about beating ourselves up over the past (because you know where that is — the past is the past and it’s looking at your ass!). Let’s simply allow ourselves to be conscious, present and less tied up in agendas that don’t serve our highest selves.Platitudes and Hallmark greeting card sayings aside, life is precious and the clock is ticking. This isn’t about inciting fear, but rather motivation. It’s your spiritual inner cheerleader getting its ‘Go Team Go’ cheer on. As Wayne Dyer said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

What’s your music? What is it that you aren’t doing now that needs to be activated? What is it that you are putting off today, thinking you will get to tomorrow? What is it that you don’t want to die not having said, done, become?

Time is limited. However, you can choose to travel down a different road — one in which you are centered, vibrant, standing in a sense of knowingness and peace. Sounds easy enough, right?It is. Life is a series of choices and for some reason, somewhere along the line, we adopt the programming that if we choose the wrong road, we make the wrong choice, we end up with the wrong person, or we accept the wrong job — that we are doomed for eternity. It’s a fallacy. What it takes is a clear stream of consciousness. You know what you are meant to do in this lifetime. You know what excites you and lights you up. Although, you may have forgotten.Many people are scared to die. We live in a culture where we never really speak of death and yet, I would counter we are more afraid to live. The most magnificent thing anyone could say about my life would be — She wasn’t scared to live.What does living, really living, mean to you? Now — go do it. Or at the very least, take one baby step in that direction — it’s often all it takes to begin navigating down a new path.What shifts could you make — share with me in the comments below.