Tormenting Yourself? 3 Tools to Beat Self-Sabotage

 

You already know what to do.

Totally annoying alert – this past weekend, when I could have been purring away, cuddled beneath a big fluffy duvet, I awoke before the crack of dawn (way before). Huge UGH. Did my body not receive the weekend memo? I attempted all of my usual tricks to get back to sleep, to no avail. Epic fail.I don’t beat myself up anymore in those moments – sometimes, especially for writers and creatives – it is precisely when you need to hit the drawing board. It is within that sacred space where the message meets the medium.But back to the darkness of this early winter morning. Truth be told, before I decided to relinquish the getting-back-to-bed routine, I experienced a short foray into some mental gymnastics. I started down a dark negative hallway lined with closed doors. Hmmm, should I open Worry, Comparison, Judgment or Lack? What a way to start my new day?! I’d acquired enough tools along the way to assuage anxiety, however there was a heavy cloud forming. Anxiety is a sneaky little fellow disguised in many forms.I’m not a big ‘worrier,’ per se. That said, it is an old familiar friend. Years ago, it would visit me in the middle of the night and we would banter back and forth for hours. I used to torment myself, but I’ve come a long way in that department.Lying there, before ultimately deciding to utilize this energy for something positive — I asked myself, is this feeling real? Well, if I’m feeling it, it has to be real – right? Wrong. Self-sabotage lures us straight into our vulnerabilities. And as we draw closer to that feeling of lack, we actually manifest more of that which we are desperately trying to avoid. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving! In marches ‘lack’ consciousness with all of its ammunition. The battle begins.Are you ready?I was reminded of my recent interview with Marianne Williamson; she spoke of what A Course In Miracles calls the ‘Holy Instant.’ In those moments of arising craziness, we can simply say,Dear God, I am angry, but I am willing not to be. I am really scared, but I am willing not to be. I am filled with anxiety, but I am willing not to be – so please send your spirit into me, into my thinking. And I place this in your hands. (feel free to substitute your own neurosis here / tailor to your own cray-cray)Acknowledge, Ask, Ascend. Call out the situation, ask for assistance and keep on truckin’.Sound simple?Here’s the best part — it is! Better yet, no matter how badly you are beginning to feel – you already know what you need to do. You probably just aren’t doing it. Have you strayed from your internal GPS? Tap into your intuition, the internal guide that knows what resonates. It is your most precious tool.Here are a few reminders to get you back on track:ACKNOWLEDGE Where you are – allow yourself to feel what you feel

• Call it out – what is ‘it’? What’s unfolding?
• Is it a familiar path – have I been here before?
• Identify where your mental gymnastics are taking you – what’s coming up: Anger, Fear, Hopelessness, Frustration, Envy, etc.

ASK Is this real? (Probably not)

• What is the opposite of my current negative state? If I can place energy in one side of the equation, why not the other? (Interesting prospect, no?!)
• Are you looking outward for answers or validation? (Reel it back in, there’s no place like home)

ASCEND Beyond self-imposed limitations

• Who’s got ahold of the steering wheel of your life? (Could that be the small mind or the false ego?)
• Take a time out – take a ‘Holy Instant’ for a test drive; what do you have to lose? (Adios pity party!)

The moment we begin to slip away from our power, we somehow willingly check our knowingness at the door. Remember that you already know what you need to do. Put some practices in place for yourself for rapid realignment. These are the muscles we need to flex and the gym we need to join.It’s all about the baby steps; take one-step in the direction of your best self.If it means getting up 5 minutes earlier to insert some self-care – do it.If it means getting out of your way long enough to do what you already know works for you – do it.If it means asking for help – do it.Do it for you.Do it to align with your highest consciousness…that’s what’s real, but you already knew that! Just a little reminder.