Humanness & Empathy: How Are Your Showing Up?
Connecting to our humanness keeps us connected to our best selves
Sometimes we get hit from behind when we least expect it – and luckily if the impact isn’t too bad, we can pull off to the side – regroup and assess the damage. Whether it’s your car fender or your emotions – S*#T happens to all of us. Life can appear as one big pothole-of-an-experience, or a hidden message in a bottle.The other night, heading to the resident teenager’s basketball game, immersed in conversation, someone barreled into the back of our car. We were practically at a standstill before a light, I could sense that the damage was likely minimal. That said, I immediately went into a mental litany of 4-letter words knowing that this would entail weeks of red tape with insurance companies, repair shops and rental cars. All of this equaling one big bunch of time-sucking BS.In an inconvenienced huff, I got out of the passenger side to help gather the necessary info. The driver of the other car – a young man, visibly shaken up – approached me, barely able to speak, and spouting apologies. In that very moment I realized how terrorized he was and all of my anger drained to the ground. “Take a deep breath,” is the first thing I uttered. “Everyone is OK. These are only cars.”
I thought of my own kid in that moment. I thought of how I would want someone to treat him.
Clearly he was a young driver who was driving somewhat carelessly, as some overly confident young drivers do. But I’m not sure what terrorized him more – talking to us or heading home to face his parents. What would my anger have brought to this party?Initially when we got back in the car to leave, we could hear the bumper rubbing against the tire – which didn’t bode well for our hour-long drive back home. Besides, we still had a game to get to. Somehow we managed to pull the fender enough to allow us to continue on our merry way. This may sound strange, but we said a little prayer for the young man who hit us - - hoping that, while this was an important driving lesson for him, he would have support at home.Believe it or not, by the time the game was over we had almost completely forgotten the entire incident (and conveniently forgotten the inconvenience ahead). All that to say – what we bring to the party is a reflection of what we receive. We can choose to explode and escalate the anger energy or initiate the compassion and love we were truly meant to bring forth and deliver. Connecting to our humanness keeps us connected to our best selves
Be the person you want to be if the tables were reversed.
It’s not necessarily the path of least resistance, but it is the path to least emotional wear and tear (on yourself and others). We were often told as kids to think before you speak – I’d take it a step further and say, feel before you speak. Open your heart to what is unfolding around you – unleash all of your senses. When your vulnerability meets that of another, a space is created for love to come in. And no matter what, love always trumps fear.Yes, you may get hit from behind unexpectedly, and yes, it may inconvenient, but remember who you are. Remember to be the person you want to be – the heart-centered, loving version of you. The nectar of a life lived in this vein is so much sweeter. So very much sweeter.