My Perfect Facebook Life

My Perfect Facebook Life, by Kristen Noel

Social media may make us feel anything but perfect — and so we need to shift our relationship to it

Welcome to my perfect social media life where everything is rosy: I live in ideal harmony with my body. My relationship is perfect. My career is moving along swimmingly. No problems, no issues, life is grand…oh, and have I mentioned that I pretend to not obsessively follow my LIKES?Have you ever asked yourself how you feel as you peruse social media? Have you ever taken stock of how much of your day is devoted to scrolling or staring at a screen? No wonder we have a difficult time taming the “monkey mind” as we try to meditate. I see adults wearing devices on their wrists to track their steps taken and document calories burned – what about tracking how much of your spiritual self you are depleting? I hear alarm bells ringing.I’m regularly chastising the resident teenager for being attached at the hip to his various electronic devices. Uh hum, truth be told – he isn’t the only one in the house who has a few issues in that department. I, too, share in the very same addiction. And if you think you are immune – time yourself. How long can you go before checking your newsfeeds, before you start twitching? While away this past holiday week visiting family, I began to recognize how often I checked my phone and perused my various social media feeds. Don’t worry, this isn’t a diatribe on electronic media, but rather a call to action – a call to ask oneself, how is this making me feel?I‘d have to admit that minimally, half of the time – it left me somewhat deflated and feeling a bit less than.

As my ego holds my life up against what I see on Facebook, my vacations are less exotic, my career is less successful, my life less extraordinary. No wonder it took me so long to join the social media bandwagon.

You see, no matter how perfect our Photoshop-ed, edited and scripted social media lives may appear to others – it simply isn’t the reality. This is the double-edged sword – the myth of social media paired with our ego’s trickery.The holidays aren’t idyllic for everyone – not everyone has a Hallmark greeting card setting to fall into. Not everyone’s financial balance sheet is filled with yearend sugar plum corporate bonuses. Not everyone’s love relationships are playing out in cinematic happy-ever after fashion despite how it’s streaming across the Internet. But let me continuously check my social media stream so I can feel like S%*T.We’re all working on something in this lifetime – it is part of the human experience. So why don’t we talk a bit more about that?Of course, most posts are not disingenuous, nor written with mal-intent, but sometimes that’s simply how they land. My life isn’t perfect. My shared career triumphs haven’t come without hard work, dedication, dreams, blind faith and terror. I talk back to myself in the morning when I look in the mirror – I’ve got a bad habit of being my own worst critic in more ways than one. The good news is that I’m working on flexing other muscles – the ones that align me with my true purpose, passion and all that brings me to real peace. Maybe I need to share a bit more of that journey (and the behind-the-scenes messiness). Isn’t that the stuff that tells the real story?We throw around spiritual platitudes about being seekers and light-workers bonded by a common goal of a desire to shift the world. But how can we shift the world, shed the light, be the light we want to see, if we are not willing to identify our own darkness and bring that to the light? It’s through the authentic sharing of our experience on this planet that we can communicate something of great value.What if we shifted our intentions in the New Year – what if we elevated our consciousness, not making this all about ourselves, but about others? And don’t get me wrong, we’ve got to celebrate all the good stuff going down – sing it from the mountaintops. Maybe we could serve it up with a side of “getting real,” too. What if we could all tell a little bit more of the truth about what we are experiencing?

Perhaps we could evaluate our own relationship to social media – why am I on it, how much time should I relinquish to it, what value is it bringing to my day, etc.?

Here are a few things to ponder:• Could I simply detox from social media for a day, totally and completely?• When I read a post, am I easily distracted off my own course and onto someone else’s?• When I post, am I secretly following the number of LIKES? And if so, are my emotions linked to the outcome?• Before posting, do I consider if this post will help inspire someone else?• Do I ask myself what is my motivation behind it?On the flip side, I happen to love the magic that is possible on social media. I love the people I’ve found and the paths I’ve crossed. I’m not criticizing anyone else – these observations derived from my own experience. But within the context of that experience – I see room for a deeper connection.So what do you have to lose? I’d venture to say you have much to gain in joining me in this little experiment. Let’s own our stuff in the New Year – let’s not play small, not dull our light – we shine much brighter when we play for Team Universe. Maybe a little more living and a little less living vicariously?Once upon a time, there was a perfect Facebook life.... Does this hit a chord? Chat me up with a comment below - it takes a village!

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