Sticks & Stones
Choose your words (and rocks) carefully. Despite what the old children’s rhyme avows, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me” – words have power, serious power. As a matter of fact, I think I would choose a smack in the head over verbal bullying any day. Speaking of bullies, the biggest one is the one looking back at you in the mirror each morning. Our self-defeating, limited-thinking thoughts are the way we taunt ourselves. Those words shift everything. They deflate all that is sparkly and with a snap of our fingers can change the entire trajectory of a day - an immediate about face from flying high on contentedness.It takes practice to truly bring authentic awareness to our words – both the ones falling from our lips and those swirling around in our heads. We all slip and sabotage ourselves in our own ways – it can come in the form of gossip, unflattering conversation or simply not seeing the best in someone. But the interesting thing here is that in reality this is a reflection of our own thoughts, belief system and inner angst. It’s always about us, not them. Ouch.Many spiritual teachers will guide us to see our reflection in others – I know, not always so easy to swallow. But when we stop seeing ourselves as separate, we look for the goodness in others, even if we have to dig deep. Our work is to release our addiction to suffering. Our unkind words, thoughts and deeds hurt us all and have a collective tickle-down effect. You get to choose them – so why not experiment with conscious editing?If you ask yourself what’s coming up within you when you start going down a negative path – emotions like jealousy, envy, and fear of not being enough may pop up, if you are being fully honest. So what do you do with that? And what about those limited beliefs you harbor about yourself – you know, the “you’re your own worst enemy” ones?Start here:
- • Immediately put the brakes on when you are headed in this direction – simply stop that train. By identifying your triggers, you can begin the process of realignment. And even if that’s as far as you can get – it’s progress.
- • Create a mantra you can recite to yourself as you press reset. I am breaking this cord of suffering. It is an old thought – I no longer choose to think that way. I release beliefs that do not serve my highest potential. I choose to see the truth in this situation.
- • Even if you cannot muster something positive about a hurtful person or incident, could you allow yourself to retreat and refrain from judgment? That puts an immediate end to the energetic dance. Step away from the negativity.
- • Gravitate to what works – what feels good; the people, the thoughts, the dreams, the words, the pretty painted stones. Find your tribe and your totems.
- • Trust your gut when making decisions – don’t bully or guilt yourself into anything. As Marie Forleo says, “Is it a hell yes? If not, then it’s a hell no.” You’re the CEO of your own decision making board!
- • Further to that, while we’re on the “No Train” - This week I heard my friend Nancy Levin speak a great line on her Hay House radio show – “No, is a complete sentence.” Amen. Flexing our “no” muscle prevents us from storing up resentment, which can later invite regret.
Sometimes all we can do in the heat of the moment is to accept where we are in the present. In my interview with Danielle LaPorte, she spoke of a simple strategy that begins with declaring, “I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” Then asking “What’s the opposite of those emotions?” How about inspired, abundant, empowered, blissful instead? Why not? Hang this Post It up for yourself: You get to choose.
- Those beautiful rocks in the picture above were made with love by my friend Lucia – check out her site, click on over and order your own rock concert.