I Want Out: A Bold Journey of Becoming
Forsythia, a sure harbinger of spring renewal.
The cues of our physical, emotional and spiritual selves are our truthtellers pointing us in the direction of revealing, undoing and becoming…if we listen
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Have you ever wanted out of something…a job, a relationship, a town, a way of thinking…or maybe even how you were doing life? Good. While I’m all about appreciating the present moment, the comfort of the “status quo” can be highly over-rated and keep us lodged in perpetual stuck-ness. Instead, I want you to listen to the stirrings within — the whispers of your heart and your intuition (your true heart).
I get deliriously giddy at the onset of spring because it means OUT; out of the house, out of the layers upon layers of winter clothes (and God willing the extra winter pounds), out of tired old static energy both physically and mentally. It is a time of rebirth and renewal — time to bust a move!
Are you feeling these stirrings within? And I’m not just referring to planting flowers and picnics…I’m talking about your soul.
And after the year we’ve had, “out” of the house these days really takes on a whole new level of meaning, right? It’s almost time to thrust open the windows and breathe in fresh air literally and figuratively. It’s an optimist’s delight, besides I’m a spring baby born amidst this energy, so it resonates deeply with me. It is a time of both awakening and birthday cake in this house and for everyone who lives in it! Can you imagine that I live in a house of Aries (even the pup)! It’s true, but I digress.
Here in the northern hemisphere, where this season is dramatically demarcated by the stirring of Mother Earth, shifting and changing every day in physical form before our eyes — her transformation is undeniable and invigorating. It’s hard to ignore, even contagious because there is a part of each of us that beckons to awaken.
What is that for you — how is it showing up? What is she whispering?
Hey, it’s been a long season here in the mountains that felt particularly isolating for many reasons — some obvious, some less so. But admittedly I found peace in falling into her cadence rather than resisting. I have many friends living in milder climates and even some who migrated like snowbirds for the season. Initially, I caught myself envying their ability to be outside in the warmth and sunshine…and yes, even a bit jealous, especially on those frigid days with temps below freezing when I longed to have bare toes in sandy beaches!
But instead of focusing on what I didn’t have, or where I wasn’t, or what I couldn’t be doing — I decided to pivot internally and cease from suffering. What do I mean by that? Well, we cause ourselves a great deal of suffering when we spend our time future-tripping — or skirting the real issues at hand. I’ll be happy when…I’m making more money, I’m traveling to the beach, I’m thinner, I’m more successful, etc. Fill in your own version of the story.
Each of these pulls us out of all that is before us, leaving behind a trail of missed opportunities and lost moments.
And dare I say, it’s good to be a little uncomfortable. Of course, I don’t like to be uncomfortable any more than the next person, but discomfort is a truthteller. And when you invite her in and ask her opinion…she’s got a lot to say and has no problem sharing it. God knows we’ve all had to make adjustments big and small this past year. The question is, did you use this or did you feel used by it?
When we are seated in an uncomfortable position, we shift and reposition ourselves, maybe stretch for a few moments. It’s that simple because the truth is that in constriction we can still expand. I know it sounds contrary, but it’s true. The truth is that you’ll be happy when you unleash your Best Self.
So yes, I want out! Out of the house and all the things that have held me back — and told me I’m not good enough, successful enough, young enough, rich enough, smart enough…ENOUGH of that noise already! You may have noticed that I’ve been a bit quieter than usual — not as prolific with newsletters and social media posts. It’s because I’ve decided to approach this ‘life-ing’ all differently, at least for the moment.
Usually, I’m a doer — always on the go, moving, fixing, shifting, meeting deadlines, pushing, changing, reinventing, reacting and coming up with all the answers (I think you get the picture). And while I do have a lot on my plate as many of you do — I realized how all of this busyness was actually keeping me stuck and sideswiping my becoming. It’s so easy to fill our lives with the rhythm of routine and get lost within it.
Have you ever felt like this?
As my favorite Wayne Dyer quote states, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”
It was time for me to take an inventory of my life. And while there is a lot of noise in the world, I realized that the person I’m really letting down by not following my dreams is ME. I bet you can relate. Besides, we so often sidestep ourselves in the name of others…our kids, our spouses, co-workers, friends, etc. But the reality is that we actually become better at all of those roles when we dive further into our own needs, desires and dreams. I know that’s what I want to model for my son.
Is there something you keep putting off for later or the perfect time when everything lines up in the cosmos? Just a heads up, in case you are waiting…there is no such time. The time is now, squished into the rest of your glorious life with all of its ups and downs and all-arounds. Your life is now. Your desires are your desires, that light you up and excite you for a reason…now.
For me, I took a step back and looked at the things I was ignoring. I wanted out of thinking that I could only do life one way, day in and day out. I also decided to make some bold commitments on behalf of those things…one of which is to my book. Finally. I have been putting this dream of writing my book off for forever. Not anymore. I’m actually working on chapter 10 as we speak (albeit a first draft), but I made a financial and personal commitment to self to stoke these fires that were beginning to fade out. I’ve also been taking an intuitive certification program since October. I’m broadening horizons, claiming dormant dreams and shaking things up because we don’t have forever.
We can seize our ‘tomorrows’, today — all the things we say we are going to get to eventually.
I share this all with you here because I want you to seize your NOW. I want you to thrust open your window, let new ideas, inspirations and fresh air in — even if it sends a nervously exciting chill up your spine. I want you to commit to not walking away from the things that light you up. I want you to find a way to follow your yeses…the little voice that jumps up and down like a kid on Christmas morning when you get excited about the possibility of something that both excites and frightens you. That voice resides within you and needs to be heard. I want you to unpeel those layers.
I also want you to get out of your way. Stop saying why you can’t do something…and do it anyway — not for me or anyone else, but for you. These aren’t just words…trust me. I’m doing it…I’m living, breathing, walking proof. But don’t get me wrong — there are days I think I have completely lost my mind, that none of what I’m doing makes any sense. And maybe by someone else’s metrics it doesn’t…but that’s not how I’m living my life anymore. I laugh and say to friends, I have no F-ing idea what I’m doing…and I know exactly what I’m doing. Let’s just say I’m following a roadmap I’m writing as I go.
What is that for you?
What is the thing you just don’t want to go through life without doing?
Here’s the amazing thing — when we get out of the way and stop focusing on why we can’t do something and just go for it — we find ways and inspiration and expansion. And now my head is actually spinning with even more new ideas for Best Self Magazine and its evolution.
So, let’s start with wanting out…Do you want out of something? Let’s trust in ourselves…not to be perfect human beings, but rather to be those who trust that even if we fall, we will become the ones who can catch ourselves. We can try again. We are not infallible, but there is music within each of us that we don’t want to die with. Ready to bust your energetic windows open? I’m sending you love, faith, creativity and courage on the wings of crisp, fresh, new spring breezes.
“Let me fall if I must. The one I will become will catch me.”
~Baal Shem Tov
I want to hear about your “wanting out”…what is calling to you, what is trying to bust-a-move within you? What are you ignoring that it is time to let go? Are you feeling the season of change upon your life? Please share in the comments below.