Spring Cleaning: An Emotional Reboot
Spring cleaning is not just about cob webs and corners, it’s about shifting energy, wisdom, discernment and your emotional wellbeing, too
________
An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by its own fullness, not by its reception.
~ Harold Loukes
What do you do when you feel off your game…lose yourself in‘comfort food’ (or drink) because you deserve it, binge on Netflix (Ihad to catch up with Game of Thrones), sabotage your self-care? Maybe it’s evena combo. Regardless, you likely have your own go-to default settings.
I clean when I’m upset or rattled.
Out comes the vacuum, the paper towels and the cleaningsupplies (environmentally friendly of course) to wipe things away. I findmyself tidying up, taking things apart, deep dive-cleaning and reassembling. Thinkabout it…it’s actually a great metaphor for life.
When something is off, being able to see thesituation and space around you differently — creates room for breathing, freshair and perspective. It helps move the stuck, stale, negative energy. It alsocreates order in the disorder of whatever is unraveling at the moment. Besides,you end up with a refreshed environment and who can’t appreciate that? Dustbunnies begone — in both my physical andmental space!
But most of all, it takes you out of the upset…even if onlymomentarily.
Besides as Albert Einstein reminds us, we simply can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it.
When I was a kid, I cleaned a lot. On Saturday mornings mymother went to work and I would deep clean my bedroom (I’m talking takingeverything off my dressers to dust and vacuuming the floors, including thewoodwork)…yeah, that kind of cleaning — not exactly your typical teenagegirl kind of cleaning.
I knew my mom worked hard and sacrificed greatly for us 3kids. Her paycheck afforded the extras for us, not her: the piano lessons,dance and gymnastic classes, soccer clubs, etc. Cleaning was something I couldgive her. When she came home I presented a clean kitchen and family room likeit was a gift wrapped in a sparkly bow. I wanted her to be happy. I also think thaton some level I always knew the power of a clean space.
But of course, while the busyness of cleaning transports ussomewhere else and removes us from the chaos — it doesn’t get to the root ofthe problem. I wish I could sit with that young girl and ask her, what’sgoing on here? And I wish I could take her in my arms and tell her, youcan’t make anyone happy, you’re not responsible for this — but your kindness isdivine. Keep taking kind action, but don’t take on the problems of the world.They are not yours to carry (or solve).
I recently tried to fix something that wasn’t mine to fix. Just because you love someone, just because you are aware of something, just because you see the possibility….still doesn’t make it yours to resolve. Have you ever tried to fix someone else? It comes in so many flavors: love relationships, family, work, friends…even our kids.
We can’t ‘fix’ people, we fix cars, appliances and broken objects…not living, breathing beings. Their fixing is their soul journey. Your fixing is yours.
On a recent morning walk, my friend Ron reminded me that wecan’t work harder to fix someone’s problems than they do. Boom! That hithome. We can show up to assist and support when asked, but we can’t fix what isnot ours to fix.
Yet still we somehow insist upon trying. We continue tofight, to do it our way — to muscle through and alter things according to ourbelief system. We missed the memo on that one and it’s a lesson often learnedthe hard and painful way, like banging your head on a bunch of closed doors. Onceexhausted by our efforts, we eventually wave the white flag of surrender aboveour heads.
Thus the recent cleaning.
Don’t beat yourself up when you feel the anguish ofanother. That’s compassion. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to help fixsomething. That’s humanity. Don’t beat yourself up when you find yourself defeated.That’s self-awareness. Don’t beat yourself up for detaching and protectingyourself. That’s wisdom. And we are all of those things.
Thus the recent cleaning.
The cleaning wasn’t just about the busyness, though as BestSelfer Erin Stutland says, Movement in your body, creates movement in yourlife. Physical movement (whether it’s a walk outside around the block or anexercise class) helps us get unstuck. It can also calm your nervous system asit transports you from one state of mind to another.
So after this recent disappointment that hit me hard, I knewwhat I needed to do to shift the energy of myself and my house. I started byopening all the windows. My sweet, quirky old farmhouse filled with windows allowfor a magnificent cross breeze to rush right through. It was almost as if Iwitnessed the heaviness depart on the wings of spring air. As I moved from roomto room, I tidied, vacuumed — I moved the energy. I lit candles, burnt palosanto and brought in new fresh cut flowers. I reclaimed my space and reinfusedit with life. Sanctuary restored.
Some things help us shift energy very quickly, but othersrequire a more gradual segue. Though my newly cleansed space soothed me, italso made me feel the disappointment of not being able to help someone I caredabout in the way I wish I had been able to. I had to allow myself to feel thegravity of that as well.
I realize that there is an arrogance in that equation too. Note to self: This is not mine to fix…so stop trying to fix it. You have enough to focus on in your own life.
My house wrapped me in a soft embrace and reminded me to breathe. But it also reminded me that it was OK to feel all of the emotions. I surrendered to it and just observed it. And you know what? My sadness transformed into a bit of frustration and then anger, which was actually a good sign. The emotions were being processed. The emotions, like the energy, were moving.
There is no right or wrong method to spring cleaning yourhouse or your life — but it is a glorious opportunity to show up for yourself —to consciously look about your physical and emotional space and ask, Wheream I being called to shift? What do I need to see and feel? What’smine to fix and what is not?
Thus the recent cleaning.
Could you use a little emotional reboot? Is it time tocleanse more than your physical space and get into the corners of youremotional one? Where are you being called to show up and to love yourself moredeeply? Please share in the comments below.