Buck it up, Suck it up, F*%#k it up

Sorry about the F-word!  Sometimes there just isn’t a better expression to emphasize a particular sentiment, besides it rhymes.  We are always told to see the glass half full, look on the bright side, make the best of it and in other words, shove it somewhere and keep on truckin’ as if nothing was going on.  But what good does that actually do any of us?  Where’s the resolution?  Further, where exactly are we expected to put those feelings and what becomes of them?While there is some credence to not indulging every “negative” whim, we feel what we feel.   And our emotions are our calling cards alerting us to something deeper that’s going on.  I think I hear some opportunity knocking.A friend recently reposted an inspirational quote from Brené Brown’s Facebook page that caught my attention.  While the focus of that post was on giving ourselves permission to play more, it made me think about how we deal with our emotions on a day-to-day basis – or should I say, how we don’t deal with our emotions.  Have you scheduled any “emotional” time lately?What do you do with your feelings?  Our defense mechanisms create patterns of denial for us to hide behind.  The suffering is in the resistance and resisting doesn’t make it go away.  Carl Jung first told us, “What you resist, persists.”  So we aren’t getting away with anything here people and not escaping the undeniable fact that we can run, but we cannot hide.  For example, it is politically and socially incorrect to admit that we hate, whether we are talking some vegetable or an individual we don’t see eye-to-eye with.  I know it’s an ugly word.  It’s also an unpopular sentiment, so we pretend it doesn’t exist.  Denying that we have hatred within us, doesn’t make it disappear.  It doesn’t help us transform it into something useful, to seize its gift to teach.  Sweep it under the rug…out of sight, out of mind (temporarily).  But unaddressed, it will remain and grow, all the while chipping away at our energetic being.  It won’t magically fade away and eventually you will circle back around and trip over it.  So perhaps instead of “sucking it up,” we should allow ourselves to express what is going on and let it see the light of day. Then and only then can true transformation begin.We can learn constructive ways for expressing negative feelings.  This will more than likely require a purge and quite possibly a punching bag (it doesn’t have to be pretty) – write it, scream it, talk it out on your therapist’s couch, whatever it takes get it up and out.  You can always burn it in the fireplace, but the very act of acknowledging your visceral emotion allows you to begin moving beyond it.  We need our releases.  They help us better understand what we are experiencing.Bucking up and denying our feelings only deprives us of opportunity.  When we are not accountable to ourselves, we cannot be accountable to anyone else.  Don’t miss your chance for personal growth.  Start by checking in with yourself.  How are you feeling?  What’s really coming up?  It requires far more energy to hold it all in and keep it under wraps.  What’s stopping you?  Just think of all you can do with the new space you are clearing.There is no secret solution and yet, everything you need access to - is already within you.  Perhaps dormant and hiding, these innate tools may simply need activating.  The ultimate goal is to learn to move through our experiences as we experience them, rather than bypass our emotions. To dust off and carry on - isn’t to side step what we are going through.  This is the learned behavior we have adopted from childhood on up.  Newsflash – that which we attempt to hide away will be lugged around behind us for the rest of our lives.The reality is that we sometimes spend more time avoiding what we are feeling, than feeling.And to address the above-mentioned “F” word, there is no such thing as true failure.  However, you have to decide for how long and how many times you want to address the same unproductive theories and behaviors in your life before shifting.  You can write the next chapter and retell your old stories any time you choose.  Control-Alt-Delete.Life is too precious to wallow in self-pity.  Don’t get stuck.  Don’t settle for less.  Feel what you feel, ask it to reveal it’s hidden treasure for you and keep the emotional gravy train on track.  You are precious and your feelings are a gift.  Handle with care.