Exploring the yin yang polarity of the human experience; knowing when to hide/retreat, take action/be still — and to trust the wisdom that we need it all
Resilience and grace can honestly feel as fleeting and fragile as autumn leaves before letting go of tree branches and falling to the ground. And yet, we trust that bare limbs will yet again sprout growth. Emotions, like seasons are transitory too.
We want what we want when we want it, right? Who can blame us. But have you noticed that life often unfolds according to a different timeclock? So, we react. We push, we pull, we stomp our inner child feet, we create suffering and then beg for a sign (one that tells us what we want to hear, of course!).
The messages surround me (and YOU) all the time. Look this way, they beckon and try to reassure me. You are loved. You are supported. Trust. All is well.
But when you’re running on fumes of faith, it doesn’t necessarily feel ‘well’…and we don’t necessarily trust it, so we carry on business-as-suffering-usual.
You know what I mean…just as you are feeling all ZEN and grateful, boom, the phone rings, a disappointing email arrives, something shifts. Immediate buzz kill.
And we fall back into life set on ‘default’ mode oh so easily — doing things our way, the way we always have. Does anyone smell a pattern?
Even when we get messages of support from God, the Universe or even the people in our lives, we often still can’t let go of our unnecessary suffering. It’s hard to let go of patterns and behaviors. We all have our vulnerabilities. You aren’t alone in this department, contrary to what it may feel like when you are in it. Maybe it shows up in your relationships, your career or with your finances. I hear you. I’m constantly working on digging deeper and shining the light brighter on what I need to see about myself and my tricky tactics.
But that certainly doesn’t make it easy. Just as one room gets cleaned, there’s another messy one right down the hall waiting for me. Aaaah, life.
Don’t beat yourself up. No, instead, honor it. Honor that you see it. Honor where you’ve been and how far you’ve traveled to here. Remind yourself of that strength, not the weakness or the perceived mistakes. If you can see it, it is time to be revealed. You are ready. You are ready to make the connections, cut the chords and to move on. You are ready to heal…and how awesome is that?!
Healing, especially emotional healing, takes time. It takes guts and it takes resilience. It also takes grace. Think of a peaceful warrior. Can you be that for yourself?
I recently attended a workshop with a small gathering of friends and a few others I didn’t know. It was a perfect example of getting out of my own way and connecting to community, allowing myself to participate and as a result, receiving. Admittedly, my typical knee-jerk reaction when asked to attend something is: No. But I showed up and of course it was moving and transformational; such a reminder that when like-minded people gather and set an intention, something unexpected and profound always emerges. It is felt and it is healing.
During that gathering while I was meditating, I had a thought about the push/pull nature of life; resilience and grace — and how we need both, the polarity of our experience.
There are seasons to show up and do the work and there are those to step back and nurture, to sit in faith (and hold it tight).
We need it all. I don’t believe this is about forcing things or muscling through anything, but it is about following grace and allowing her to whisper into your ear, experience and life. It’s about hearing what needs to be heard from deep within, from the stillness — then trusting grace to guide your next action steps.
Resilience reminds you of your strength, grace speaks from the soul.
Embrace them both and know that each resides within you too. None of us is immune to pain and discontent, but we can choose how we are or are not going to participate in the suffering. Are we going to feed it or be with it?
Resilience is not resistance. It is a courageous act of knowing and trusting, continuously showing up the best way we can. It is about trust and faith, particularly when we are standing on wobbly legs. It’s about truth — seeing it, embracing it, embodying it and letting go of the rest.
Motherhood has been a tremendous mirror for me. When I witness my son experiencing any type of hurt or upset, I want to charge in like a triage team. But I know that the best thing I can do for him is to muster grace — and to share some wisdom from this long and winding road I’ve been on, to encourage him to be with his discomfort and to ultimately remind him of his own power to navigate it all. I can’t fix it or him. I can’t make his pain go away. I can’t patch up his disappointment. However, we can only shine a light on what is possible if we choose to tap into our own resilience and grace. And when we do, oh, what a beautifully choreographed life waltz it can be.
Healing ourselves is our life’s true work. Witnessing our reflection within one another is our wisdom. Embracing our power and the courage to show up for it all is a slice of divinity along this human experience.
Resilient grace. Graceful resiliency. Bring it on…in all of its complexity and beauty — and in whatever capacity we can handle it. Sometimes we can merely meet life from where we’re at — and when we can show up trusting in our resilience and grace, it is there that we truly find our Best Selves. Trust in the seasons of your life, your journey and your evolution.
How does this dance between resilience and grace show up for you? Do you feel its emotional tug-o-war or have you figured out how to embrace it all? Please share with us in the comments below — our shared experience bonds us in this being human journey.