I love what I do, what I’m creating and who I’m creating it with and for, truly. But it wasn’t always that way and it took me most of my life to find my way back ‘home’. There were plenty of distractions along the way — enticing shiny pennies of opportunity and not-so-shiny pennies of hardship and heartbreak. I suppose that’s life…and for some of us (the more stubborn and determined of the lot), it may take a more circuitous route.
Home is the proverbial place where you can rest your weary bones, kick off your shoes, lighten your load and settle in after a long journey…no matter how far away you’ve been. Can you feel the deep exhale? It is the place where you can settle back into knowingness, into being YOU — not the version you may have distorted to satisfy the expectations of others.
Do you remember that person…the one who had big aspirations and dreams before the world told him/her something else…before getting derailed or detoured?
I recently participated in an intimate evening of sisterhood. In order to set the tone for the night, we were asked to arrive with our intentions for 2019 so that we could share them and hold them for one another. Easy enough, right? Not really. I’ll be honest, I try to eat, breathe, sleep all things conscious living, all things that promote being connected to my ‘best self’. However, that also means that in the continuous pursuit of this, the simplicity of its purest essence drowns in the busyness of life. Am I hearing any “me too’s” out there?
Busyness is the great deflector. While we can pat ourselves on the back for checking things off our lists and being productive, we can also sidestep ourselves in the process. It’s exactly how I ended up on a long and winding life detour to here. The alternative path I took included many chapters, settling for the wrong situations with the wrong people.
Busyness begets more busyness, a frenetic kind of numbing out to who you truly are.
But the good news about that: You can run, but you can’t hide. Your spirit (despite how hard you try to ignore it) will not be dismissed. It will cry out for your attention. It will signal to you, flail its arms, put people and messages in your path. Heed the call. Then remember that it’s never too late (one of my ‘sheros’, Louise Hay, started Hay HousePublishing when she was 60 years old). So whenever I start down the path of feeling like I’ve missed the boat on something, I remind myself of this.
Have you ever noticed that for the most part, when electronics start to act a bit wacky, a simple reboot can magically solve the problems of the world? Same with us. You haven’t lost your internal WIFI connection, you just need to reboot.
This will likely be my last post of 2018 dear Best Selfers —and as I sit here in my offices surrounded by stacks of books I haven’t cracked open yet, blogs, newsletters and emails of others piled up in my inbox, patiently awaiting me, I’m recognizing the self-inflicted pressure I’ve been applying.
I can’t be all things to everyone. I can’t read everything. I can’t answer every email in as timely a fashion as I may like. I can’t show up for every event. And neither can you.
Here’s my wish for you: Reroute that internal GPS of yours.Allow it to recalibrate and reconnect to YOUR true north, your wise, knowing, open-hearted inner sage — the one who can feel into decisions, the one who knows when a reboot is in order. And the one who doesn’t beat themselves up in the process.
Have you ever been driving along in your car following the directions suddenly the device states, “recalculating” after making a wrong turn? That’s what I want for you. I want you to find your way back home, to trust your inner gut, to follow your heart — in all aspects of your life.
What stands in our way? Fear and unworthiness. How do we take it down? We take an action step.
We don’t need to seek consensus, we simply need to listen to how we feel — and how we want to feel.
And remember, it’s all connected, body, mind and spirit. You know what works for you. It doesn’t require grand sweeping gestures to impart change and positive momentum. That’s a myth. Even subtle shifts can impart great impact.
I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed of late (‘tis theseason, right?) — and instead of beating myself up or trying to ‘fix’ myself, I just listened. A few things I needed was to carve out more time for the gym, drink less wine and give myself space to daydream.
Now while that may not sound like a big deal, it required showing up. The caveat to that is that I’m not a big fan of grand schemes and strategies. They often feel like restrictive diets. It’s probably because whenI was a young fashion model living in Paris (before the dawn of the wellness world as we know it and Google), when my agent wanted me to lose a few pounds,I was simply told to starve. Really.
The goal in any of this isn’t depravation or starvation — it is quite the opposite. It is nourishment, deep self-love and self-care. So for me, implementing gym-time equates to ‘me time’, cardio for my body and reading for pleasure. I can be found on the elliptical machine sweating away to a good book. The ‘less wine’ part of the equation helps me reclaim uninterrupted sleep and, well, is less taxing on the body. And ironically, when we make time forth is — time manages to stretch and we feel energized in a new way. Things magically get done…and there’s still room to stare out the window daydreaming.
What is it for you? What is one thing you could do to recalibrate ever so slightly?
- Crack open a book you’ve been dying to read —yes, that requires creating some down time (that’s the point). Can’t you see yourself cuddled up with a hot cup of tea, snuggling into some uninterrupted me-time?
- Start something new — whether showing up differently for yourself or literally doing something like a taking class.
- Let go of something (or someone) that drags you down; just say “no more” and reclaim some of that space for yourself.
- See a friend — let someone know you need them. Even if you aren’t in crisis, request a soul chat. Deep connection feeds us.
- Give Mother Nature a whirl — no matter where you are, get out and spend some time with her. Try tree bathing. Let her work her wonder on your nervous system.
- Move your body in any way you can, whether it’s at the gym, a class or going for a stroll. As my Movement With Mantras friend, Erin Stutland, always reminds me, movement in your body creates movement in your life.
- Carve out time to fill the soul coffers creatively and spiritually. For some that may include things like writing, reading, painting crafting, meditating, praying, etc. Whatever that is for you, do a little more of it.
- Checkin — sit in stillness with yourself, even if only for a few moments. Breathe, quiet your mind and ask yourself, What you need in this moment? What is life trying to show me? Where am I being called? And don’t take a poll. As Best Selfer Glennon Doyle says, Stop asking people for directions to places they’ve never been!
These are just a few suggestions to move the needle in your own life, to help you realign with your true north. But something tells me that if you implement even just one, your own list of inspiration will unfold —because that’s the way your best self works.
Now that’s a holiday recipe that will truly nourish you!
Remember, there’s no place like home. Does this resonate with you? Could you use a little recalibration, a homecoming to self? I’d love to hear how this shows up in your life and how you approach it. Share with me in the comments below so we can all head home for the holidays together!