Healing our emotional wounding is the path that will set us free from all that holds us back from manifesting our most magnificent selves
We celebrated Independence Day (otherwise known as the 4th of July, famous for its fireworks, barbeques and festivities) here in the U.S. this past week. And as always, it’s timing was impeccable and made me reflect on deeper meanings…because in some ways I’m feeling anything but independent.
I’m not speaking in terms of governments, borders and things imposed by others. I’m referring to my own inner demons; the things that still whisper sweet not-so-nothings — the things that hold me back, make me feel less than, keep me playing a limited-thinking, broken record over and over again — the things that are in my control to change. Can you relate?
Where do you need to free yourself?
Do you allow yourself the time to sit with that question, to assemble the pieces of your thoughts, actions and reactions…and most importantly, to understand it?
Some of us are well aware of these thought patterns and behaviors that keep us stuck — stuck believing untruths and being held back from all that we can become and manifest in this life. Others may not recognize them specifically, but all of us are good at bypassing when we don’t feel like facing off with things right before us. The ol’ I don’t see you game doesn’t make them go away — it actually fortifies them.
Everything that is going down at any given time is connected to many pieces, parts and chapters of our journey, including things like a childhood emotion, trauma or experience.
So, commensurately, anything that arises in our ‘adult’ selves brings along that lineage unless healed. This is why it’s so easy to overlook. We don’t allow ourselves to heal the deepest of wounds because quite honestly, they can seem trivial. And yet, there is nothing trivial about feelings, any and all of them.
So, back to independence. I’ve recently been triggered by a local event. Neighbors are divided. Lines have been drawn and there is an ‘us against them’ mentality in the air. Needless to say, it doesn’t feel good.
Let me digress a moment. While sitting with a dear friend one evening on my back porch, our conversation veered off to the topic of world politics (particularly regarding the U.S. and White House policies). Don’t worry, this isn’t a political post. After we got dismayed and a little hot under the collar, my wise friend finally said, this feels futile and too big. What can we do to feel better? What can we do to enact change right here, right now?
That’s the thing, we have to start somewhere: in our homes, with our families, with our neighbors and in our surrounding communities…with our near reach us against them realities. Don’t get overwhelmed by the broader landscape. Start somewhere closer with some nugget that you can get your hands around.
It’s easy to turn a blind eye, to not get involved, to not take a stand, to let someone else do it for you. But that’s not the way our healing works, on a personal level or a global one. I decided to throw my hat in the ring and to step forward and take a stand for what was true in this neighborhood issue. But the truth is that the minute I did it, the minute I pressed send — I felt vulnerable, exposed and a bit remorseful. Feelings of insecurity and fear bubbled up.
When I unpacked it, I found my younger self. She doesn’t like conflict. She wants to be liked. She doesn’t want to build walls, she wants to build bridges. But if that means not telling the truth, not taking a stand and hiding in the shadows — she also loses her independence.
Independence isn’t just a path of happy thoughts. It’s a path of integrity, authenticity, accountability and following your deepest truth. It’s about declaring who you are, what you stand for and stepping into your most magnificent self so you can leave this planet a better place than when you arrived. And quite honestly, if the people around you don’t support your truth, they aren’t your people.
What’s holding you back?
What are you afraid of?
Where do you need to declare your independence?
What price are you paying in not doing so?
I might have to reconcile not being liked by all, having some people angry with me or living in conflict with the opinions of others.
But as I literally said aloud to myself the other day after filing a complaint, the truth has my back. Standing in truth may not be the path of least resistance, but it will set you and your best self free. It’s what I wish for you and me and all of us. Perhaps we could start construction on those bridges if we all stood in truth, did our own work and healed our old wounds. That’s where the freedom lies — let’s meet there.
As always, I love hearing from you. How does this play out in your life? Where could you declare independence for yourself and what’s standing in your way? Share with us in the comments below — and let freedom ring!