Along this life journey it’s easy to lose ourselves; reclaiming our intuitive selves realigns us with our true potential and power
Where did you first abandon yourself?
Sounds harsh, right?
Let me put it another way. Imagine that you came into this world full of wonder, endless inspiration, overflowing joy and abundant mojo (and you did)…and then the world told you differently, little by little chipping away at that natural joie de vivre.
This ultimately led you to enter into relationships with people who didn’t ‘see’ you, jobs that were unfulfilling, situations that compromised your beliefs, etc. — and then you felt stuck there, unable to see your way out.
For whatever reasons we pick up things from our people, environment and experiences along the way, things like shame, guilt, fear — and we begin to practice playing small, smaller than we really are, smaller than who we are meant to be. We temper and edit ourselves (practice and repeat). And we get really good at it. I call this the ‘dulling down’ process. But in reality we don’t dull anything, we simply pretend to as we stuff our true essence away — and yet, the inner stirring of desire cries out to us from within. Help. Let me out. Hey you, remember me?
It may appear as a low grade sadness, yearning or knowing that something is off — things are just not quite as they should be (or could be), something is missing.
This is your internal truth-teller. It does its job — it tells the truth, we shove it aside.
To conform to what we are ‘supposed’ to be, do and think, in order to fulfill someone else’s agenda —we shove that glorious self somewhere deep inside. We tell it, just hide in here. Don’t worry, I’ll come back for you. If we are fortunate enough, we do. If we practice disconnection, we live life set on autopilot. It can happen all too easily. Boy, I know. And let’s face it, most of us were never given the tools to stay connected to it. It took me a long, windy, dramatic, tumultuous life path to get here. What about you? Do you remember who you were and what you shoved away?
The core tenet of Best Self Magazine is the golden thread of connection, the connection of all aspects of our lives — body, mind and spirit. While this may seem obvious to some, it was a massive discovery for me along my life journey. Once made, there was no shoving the genie back in the bottle. I thirsted for more and craved deeper discovery and connection. My curiosity ran rampant: What is this trying to tell me? What am I meant to see? What is this connected to? Nothing would be considered a random occurrence or without reason ever again.
And lucky for me, I’ve chosen to build a life and business surrounded by the most amazing thought leaders in the realm of holistic and conscious living, who pave the way for others to awaken to their own power. I always joke that this is my personal on-the-job life training (because it kind of is!). I’m no dummy. I’m soaking up as much goodness as possible. And that’s what life is for each of us. Look around and notice what you have surrounded yourself with and ask, Why.
It’s constantly inspiring me to dig deeper, stretch farther and feel more intensely. Honestly, sometimes it simply feels like putting jumper cables on my emotional self. Do you ever feel like you could use a boost like that? I bet there’s an aspect of your life that gets ignored. And you’ve probably gotten pretty good at ‘making peace’ with that. Translation: you’ve settled for less. That’s the great pretender in you taking charge.
Look, I get it. Been there done that and probably will do it many times over again. The key is in developing tools to realign ourselves, listening to what’s calling us, and showing up quicker. Life is busy and it’s so easy to get caught up in the agendas of others. I’ve written many times about the seduction of self-medicating with busyness. It’s just so darn alluring…and yet, deceptive.
So now for the good news: you can reclaim and heal yourself at any time you choose.
Yep. That’s the truth. Here, today, in this moment reading these words. Anytime. I believe that if you take a baby step, make a slight gesture or intention or a huge leap forward — doors open and things arrive. You begin to emerge once again. Do you remember her (or him)?
Well, hello old friend. It’s been a long time.
Going back to the connection aspect of yourself: when we begin to truly own that it’s all connected — our health, our wealth, our relationships, our emotions — we can begin the process of connecting dots and bask in restorative energy. And what that means is that when one aspect starts to heal, the others follow suit.
Where is life calling you? Where does life feel ‘off’? Why?
I’ve recently embarked upon a new level of personal work that has me exploring my inner child. I’m going back to reclaim her, to nurture her and understand how, when and why I felt I needed to (and even could) abandon her. I’m way too early in this process right now to speak of it. And I’m even cool if you are rolling your eyes thinking, Oh God, here we go with the ol’ blame it on our childhood shtick. But I’m a believer in possibility. A believer that the teacher arrives when the lesson is ready to be learned. This is what has come up for me recently and when something starts to shift in my life, I immediately start thinking about YOU.
I get excited to share things that come up for me because I know we are all in this together, even if you have your own stuff that may have you stuck or feeling as if you are living life on the sidelines. It doesn’t have to be that way. Ever. We get to decide. You’re the captain of this ship. Decide where you want it to go and head in that direction.
Ask yourself a few simple questions to take your own pulse on things:
- Is there an aspect of your life that gets ignored? Do you shove your feelings aside around this? Go there. (Self-care, relationships with others, connecting to the things that light you up)
- Is there an aspect of other people’s lives that evokes emotion in you? (Jealousy, anxiety, anger) Does it make you feel like you’re living life on the sidelines?
When something feels off, it’s likely off. We are resilient beings who keep on truckin’ despite ignoring the red flags and rocket-sized alerts our soul sends us. You don’t need a guide back to self. You simply need to reconnect in whatever way feels quiet and soothing to you. That could be through meditation, prayer, breathing, walking in nature, etc. The key is to get quiet, to ask yourself what it is you need to hear. Then nurture it. If you can find something or someone to help you nurture that, awesome. That’s an added bonus. However, don’t underestimate your own power. Don’t make excuses that you can’t afford to be in therapy or working with a practitioner. You have a PhD in YOU — start using it, beautiful one.
Stay connected to your best self and the world will begin to realign gloriously before you.
And cut yourself some slack, you may have been practicing a few bad habits for a while now…so, you’ll likely have to practice a few new ones. Practice makes perfect.
We abandon ourselves when we stop listening to ourselves, plain and simple. Think back to when you first separated from that intuitive self…it could have been when you were 4 years old or yesterday. This isn’t about chastising yourself, no, it’s about loving yourself and taking accountability. Ask yourself what you need. I don’t know about you, but my healing sometimes ebbs and flows. I feel like I need time to process things before moving further. This has been my next level of work and it occurred to me that it might spark you as well.
I’m going to leave you with something I came across on social media. When you rearrange the letters of ‘healthy self’, you get: Heal Thy Self.
May the healing begin and continue, repeat.
As always, I love hearing from YOU. Does this notion of having abandoned yourself somewhere along this life path, resonate with you? Are you ready to reclaim her/him?