The most powerful tool for un-blocking your blocks and creating an unstoppable life, already resides within you — connecting the dots of all aspects of yourself body, mind and spirit
I don’t know about you, but there are points in my life story where I look back and see myself as a stranger. Who was that person, that version of me that has slowly faded into the horizon of my memory?
There are definitely things we’d all like to forget. But I’m not speaking of the decisions we’d wished we hadn’t made, the things we wished we hadn’t said, perhaps the relationships we hadn’t engaged in or the paths we hadn’t taken — I’m looking at the big picture, the big WHY underneath it all, the life force of our decisions.
When we curiously look back and see a stranger that was once us, what we are actually witnessing is our own evolution. We may have been taught as kids to never talk to strangers, but our ‘stranger’ holds the key to unlocking our story, to understanding its depth and to bring forth great richness in our present lives — here today in this very moment.
Where is your stranger?
Was s/he a teenager, a young adult, perhaps someone you only let go of recently? The timing is actually irrelevant — the arriving here is all that matters. I think we all experience this to some degree. There’s usually something along the way that wakes us up (or smacks us upside the head, as in my case). And of course good ‘ol hindsight has all the answers (such a bossy know-it-all, after the fact!). I mean really, where were you when I needed you?!
I want to introduce you to one of the most transformative concepts of self-empowerment: connecting the dots of your messy, beautiful life — and I’m going to tell you why I know it to be true.
It’s hard to view the adversity of our lives as anything but adversity while we are experiencing it. But eventually when we can step back and gain some perspective, we can become the detectives of our own mystery series.
- What was the common denominator thread that wove the events together?
- What messages and warnings were you ignoring along the way?
- How were you bypassing your intuition, your heart and your head?
- Why were you compromising all of this — did you even realize you were doing it? (If you are anything like me — probably not).
We all have our own reasons, or perhaps even a combo-patter of them, things like: fear, unworthiness, shame, guilt, insecurity (fill in your own version). Then the salve we typically apply is denial, hidden beneath busyness. The problem is that when any of those emotions are operating within us, they wrestle their way forth and inform all aspects of our lives, body, mind and spirit.
The good news is that when we start to shine the light upon them and have them exit stage left — we can start healing our whole selves.
I know, this all sounds wonderful for other people. You know, those who can afford to run off to posh retreats and spas. You may tell yourself you have real problems and don’t have time for all of this. I can relate. Literally 14 ½ years ago, I wasn’t connecting any dots, I wasn’t seeing any threads or patterns. I had headsets on, blocking out the screams of my intuition and I was running in circles. For some of us, it’s a knee jerk reaction to perceived danger: run around and try to fix things — just keep moving.
In my case, things couldn’t be fixed. I shouldn’t have even tried to fix them, because the reality is that I was worthy of a much better scenario — one that I only had to step aside and let bloom. But that wasn’t my style, so I made it more difficult for myself. I went on trying to fix, stay in perpetual motion and ultimately run myself ragged in some futile mission chasing my tail.
I had no mortal idea that I even had any dots to connect at the time. I didn’t have time to worry about my body, mind or spirit (big mistake). I had a husband who had just been carted away in handcuffs from his office on Madison Avenue by federal agents. The government had seized ALL of our assets and I would spend the next 2 ½ years standing by my man while going down with the sinking ship. Ultimately, he would go on to be sentenced to 13 years in a federal prison. I lost everything in the process — my marriage, luxury apartment, all money (including my life savings I came into the marriage with), fairytale dreams, and was forced to truck on home to live with my parents with a toddler in tow.
It felt like the end of everything. And in ways it certainly was.
But here’s the thing: THANK YOU Jesus, Joseph and Mary (and anyone else you can think of) for waking me up. As trite as it may sound, it was a gift (even though I certainly didn’t recognize it while it was unfolding). I was a stubborn one. After years of trying to reassemble the pieces of a life that should never have been reassembled — I finally began to wake up. And when you wake up — you wake up.
This is where you begin to recognize the connections — where the light bulbs start popping and where you begin to weave together a rich tapestry of your life — and this can be an immeasurably powerful life tool. It’s not something that ever really stops. A curious adventurer knows that If I’m alive, I’ve still got dots to connect. But I was scared. I wasn’t 10 years old, I was 38 and had a child to support and a life to rebuild.
We all have multiple vignettes that link together to create our story and a journey to self — some bigger and more dramatic than others, but we all have a story nonetheless. And we all have dots to connect and if any of us, no matter where we find ourselves, can sit quietly, check in and listen — there’s some aspect of ourselves calling our name. Where is that spot for you? What are you ignoring…and why?
Along my life’s long, bumpy journey to here — I have begun to understand this undeniable interconnectedness. Emotional pain, trauma or upset is not all about your state of mind. It permeates all of you. It can show up in your physical being (for me that was a debilitating back problem) and it will dull down your sparkle and spirit. When we ignore the mind, the body comes knocking. Now, when something shows up in my body, I always pause and question 2 things:
- What is the part of my body that is in pain associated with on an emotional / spiritual level? (check out the work of Louise Hay to go deeper into that)
- What’s really going on in my life — what’s trying to get my attention?
Pausing to ask those simple questions allow you to catch your breath and helps you get to the root cause without more drama and energetic expenditure.
There was a time in my life (most of my life) where I had a much different approach. That old approach didn’t work so well and in fact, I paid a dear price for it. Sometimes I think back to the moment my now ex-husband was arrested and I imagine how differently I would’ve handled that situation now. That stranger turned left on a path that today I would turn right on. I would have had a few things to say to that sleepwalking ‘stranger’ who was once me.
My life is in a far richer place after waking up.
And I want YOU to wake up to your greatest potential, to live vibrantly and to shift from what’s not working in your life and into what’s possible.
If I can do it, you can too. And then we can keep on doing it together. Here’s a few tips to get started:
Take an inventory: When you sit quietly and think about your life, ask yourself where are things working and where are you stuck? What needs to shift? What comes up for you? Make the time to feel this.
Call yourself out: We all have a tricky way of focusing on what is flowing and bypassing what hurts. For example, we all know someone who may be wildly successful in business and perhaps not so much in taking care of their physical health or their love relationships (or vice versa). Where are you placing your attention and where are you turning a blind eye? You can run, but you can’t hide!
Shine the light:
- BODY — How is your relationship to your physical self? (What do you see when you look in the mirror? How is your energy when you open your eyes in the morning? Are you connected or disconnected to this thing you walk around in all day?) Do you honor it or take it for granted?
- MIND — Do you take ownership of the power of your thoughts? Do you catch yourself standing in your own way by virtue of your own limited thinking? Do you believe in you?
- SPIRIT — Do you have a deeper spiritual practice in place? Do you feel a joy that emanates from connection to self, nature, community and a higher purpose?
Mend your tapestry: When we acknowledge the interconnectedness of the many aspects of our lives, we reclaim our power. Go where the vulnerabilities are, mend those holes and fortify your entire essence.
‘Body, mind, spirit’ talk can sound woo-woo to some and yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before to others. No matter where you are along your own journey to self-awareness — we all want to feel good and we all fall off kilter, even those with the most disciplined of practices. That’s the ebb and flow of life.
Connecting the dots is the single most exciting method for tapping into your incredible wisdom and power.
Had I been doing that 14½ years ago, I know my suffering would have been greatly diminished (and I would’ve gotten here a little faster).
You know the thrill you experience when something suddenly clicks and makes sense? When you see something you never had before? This is what connecting the dots is all about. You don’t need to invest in anything other than yourself. You simply need to start asking yourself questions and listening to the answers (even when you don’t like what you are hearing).
Isn’t it time to live full-on and to un-block your blocks? Don’t you deserve it? Can you believe me when I say, it’s possible? I hope so, because I believe in you and me and a better, interconnected world of possibility.
Go forth and make your connections — may the dot-connecting begin so that you can live your unstoppable, vibrant life!
And as always, I love to hear from you. Does this resonate with you? How are you connecting the dots in your life? Share the dot connecting love below!